Spooking Shay Read online

  “Shh!” He got off by embarrassing me, I swear to god. I kicked him under the table. “If you’re gonna act like that, then you need to eat those things in the privacy of your own bedroom. God.”

  He cackled. “Dude, they’re so good, like… I am not sharing, they’re that good. Man, they’re gonna go right to my hips.” He patted his hipbones almost proudly, grinning like a fool. “These’re baby-making hips. Now if only I had a baby.”

  Babies. Why did we have to talk about babies? I groaned and dropped my head into my hands. Hormones. It had to be hormones. There was no other explanation for my moodiness. My stomach plummeted. The thought of suffering through another heat with someone who wasn’t Donovan made me ache. My inner-feline hissed, puffing up like a Halloween cat. He didn’t like the idea either.

  “What’s wrong, Shay-Shay? You got baby fever too?”

  “No,” I said. “I mean, technically yes…but no. You gotta find a mate before you can have babies, remember?” My shoulders drooped.

  Xan held up one finger. “Wrong. It’d be easy to get knocked up by a one-night-stand. If you really wanted a baby that badly, you could find a sperm donor, but that’s my problem, not your problem. Don’t look at me like that,” he chided when I shot him another glare. “Shay. Babe. I love you, you know that. If you were a big, strong Alpha, I’d invite you back to my place and we’d go make babies together, but you’re not.” He sighed dramatically. “You need to tell him how you feel.”

  “You don’t know shit.” I groaned the words, even though he was right.

  “Right.” He snorted softly. “Just like I don’t know about you and Donovan’s little not-date nights, or the fact that you’d ditch me in a heartbeat if he so much as suggested you two do something together? C’mon, Seamus. I know you. You’re practically in love with the man, so why don’t you just tell him? Huh?”

  I frowned. “It’s not that easy.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t want things to go bad between us,” I mumbled. “I don’t… I don’t know if I could handle his rejection if I spilled my guts. What if he laughs at me? Have you seen the men he dates?” I choked on a self-deprecating laugh. “Guys like Jem Murphy are the kind of Omegas he dates. Jem Murphy!”

  Donovan’s grizzly bear friend was tall and broad and took great care of his body. He practically lived at the gym and yes, I’d seen him shirtless. He was like a god or something.

  Xan raised a brow. “You and I both know Donovan hasn’t been out on a date with anyone in like, a year. He adores you.”

  “Yeah, as a friend.”

  He rolled his eyes again. “Your drama queen is showing, babe. Just tell the man how you feel. It’s like ripping off a Band-aid. If you do it fast, it doesn’t hurt as much. I’m telling you now, you’re gonna feel so stupid when you realize he’s in love with you.”

  “Maybe…”

  I went home with a new resolve. Xan was right. Maybe I was being an idiot for not just coming out and saying how I felt. Donovan and I had been friends for years and he’d always been sensitive around my feelings. Even if he didn’t feel the same, we could still be bros, right?

  But that evening, over dinner, Donovan seemed…distant, almost. It was obvious he was thinking hard about stuff, stuff that probably didn’t involve me, and I lost my nerve. My balls of steel turned to balls of aluminum foil, all crinkled up and easily shreddable, tucked back up inside my body. Damn it…

  Maybe this was as good as it would get. Just friends. Was that really such a bad thing? I’d get to keep him in my life and we could keep doing all the stuff we did as friends…at least until Donovan found a gorgeous Omega to settle down with. To have a relationship with. To have children with. Children with his smile and those gentle brown eyes.

  Children that weren’t mine.

  Suddenly sick to my stomach, I jumped up and fled the room before Donovan could ask me why I was crying. I swiped at my face, at the hot tears that stung my cheeks. To my utter horror, Donovan followed me down the hall.

  “Shay?” he called out, and I froze. “You okay?”

  “Y-Yeah, I… Um, I’m just really tired all of a sudden.” I tried to keep the tears from my voice. “I think I’m gonna go to bed. Goodnight, D.” Leaving him standing in the hallway, I closed myself up in my bedroom and sank against the door, letting it all come out.

  Why was life so goddamn hard?

  4

  Donovan

  Shay had been acting weird these past couple of days, plus I was pretty sure he was avoiding me. Did I do something wrong? Had I said something to upset him somehow? He wasn’t his usually bubbly, vivacious self and that worried me. Sure, he got moody sometimes—didn’t all Omegas? But this? This was different. Maybe he was hiding something. Did he meet someone? Someone he liked better than me?

  The thought made my chest ache. My inner-wolf let out a grumbling growl.

  Shay ditched me right before dinner, mumbling something about him and Xan having a sleepover so they could work on their costumes together. I stood in the middle of the kitchen, dumbstruck and utterly confused, and watched him drive away. It was like being kicked in the gonads. I didn’t even know what I did wrong.

  So when Phoenix and Jem invited me out for drinks, I figured why not? I needed to loosen up a little, and what better way to do it than with friends? I wasn’t one to get drunk, but the little pub nestled at the heart of Greymercy had the best frozen mudslides. I ate a quick supper, tossed the leftover spaghetti in containers in the fridge, and drove into town.

  The bar wasn’t too busy tonight, just a few cars in the lot. You wouldn’t think a little hole-in-the-wall like this would get much business, but on the weekends, the place was packed.

  I pulled the door open and walked inside, greeted by the heavy scent of cigarette smoke. Classic rock poured from the speakers and several guys were cutting up near the pool table, pool sticks in hand. My friends sat at a table near the back. When they saw me, they waved.

  I plopped down in the padded seat beside Jem, who’d ordered a large margarita. Coarse salt lined the edges of his glass, but the frosty green liquid smelled like antifreeze. I wasn’t sure how he could stomach it, but he seemed to be enjoying it.

  Phoenix, on the other hand, was sipping on a bottle of Coke. His hair, freshly dyed a brilliant peacock blue in the front, with jet-black roots, was swept away from his face with a little styling gel. I wondered if it had anything to do with his choice of costume for the party. Maybe a rockstar?

  I chin-nodded to the soda. “Not in the mood to get tipsy?”

  To my surprise, he blushed. “Not for the next…oh, seven months, anyway.”

  My jaw dropped. “You’re pregnant?”

  His smile made his entire face light up. “Yes! Pike and I haven’t said anything yet, so don’t tell anyone. I’m swearing you guys to secrecy, but I had to say something. You’re my best friends. God, I’m so excited. I really hope this one’s a girl.” He sighed happily, rubbing his stomach, which was soft but definitely still flat.

  I leaned over and wrapped my arm around his shoulders, squeezing him in a hug. “Man, Phee, I’m so happy for you. Really.”

  “Is it silly that we’ve already got a name picked out?”

  “Not at all.”

  “What is it?” I asked.

  Phoenix beamed. “Kestrel. Going with the bird theme.”

  “Cute.” Jem took a big swig of his margarita then licked the salt from his lips. I knew this conversation had to be a little painful for him. He and his Alpha had been happily married and were planning on having kids when Hayden was killed in a freak explosion at work.

  Even though it’d happened several years ago, it was obvious Jem hadn’t quite gotten over the loss of his mate. He told me, once, that there would never be anyone who could make him feel what Hayden did. As far as I knew, Jem hadn’t so much as dated another Alpha since moving here.

  “Hey, you doing okay?” Phoenix asked, drawing me back to reality.
“You look a little lost.”

  “Sorry. Have a lot on my mind,” I admitted. “Let me grab a drink. I’ll be right back.”

  I meandered over to the bar, where a twenty-something Alpha with spiky, fire-red hair was polishing a glass. He must’ve been new. I’d never seen him here before. He smelled…foreign, possibly feline, but I couldn’t quite pin it down. Leopard? Cheetah? Definitely something exotic.

  He offered me a bright smile as I approached. “What can I get you?”

  “I came for your mudslides,” I replied. “Can you do that?”

  “Sure.” He glanced past me, over to our table. “They yours?”

  I paused, surprised. Dude was bold. “What?”

  “Those Omegas, are they yours?” He looked genuinely curious.

  “Oh, no. No, Phoenix is happily mated and Jem and I are just friends. Why?”

  He shrugged. “No reason. Where I’m from, Alphas don’t usually hang out with Omegas. It’s refreshing, that’s all.” He offered a small smile, like he wasn’t quite sure if he was overstepping. “I’m new in town, if you couldn’t already tell. Just moved here from Oklahoma. Had to get away from my coalition, start fresh, you know how it is. Family, am I right?” His laugh was more of a bark.

  “I wouldn’t know, my family’s pretty great,” I admitted. “But welcome to Greymercy anyhow. It’s a small town, sure, but I think you’ll find that it’s got everything you really need.”

  He slid my mudslide across the bar, settling the glass in front of me. “I hope you’re right. I’ll see you around, uh…”

  “Donovan,” I supplied. “And you are?”

  “Sylvain. Enjoy your drink.”

  “Thanks.” Weird, but at least he was friendly, unlike the last douchebag. I returned to my friends, who wore odd expressions on their faces. I sat back down. “What?”

  “Nothing,” Phoenix said. “New bartender seems nice.”

  “Keeps looking over here,” Jem grumbled. “Dunno what he wants.”

  “He’s not used to seeing an Alpha hanging out with Omegas, he said. Wherever he’s from, I’m glad I’m not there. I love you guys—platonically, of course.” I winked at Phoenix, who burst out laughing. “I don’t think Pike would be very happy if I stole his one true love.”

  “He’d cut your balls off,” the coyote said, matter-of-fact. “And no offense, but ew.”

  I huffed. “Gee, thanks.”

  “Besides, you’re practically off the market,” Jem drawled. There was a twinkle in his dark eyes.

  “Hardly. Shay’s been acting weird.”

  “Yeah, because you’re oblivious as fuck. That boy is in love with you, why can’t you see that? I mean, okay, let’s see.” Phoenix held up his hand, ticking off facts on his fingers. “You two go practically everywhere together. You have not-dates. You ditch us to spend time with him. You cuddle—you cuddle, Donovan! You’re like a mated couple, but without all the fun shit. Damn.”

  I frowned. “Yeah, but… I’ve tried dropping hints. I’ve tried to flirt. It’s like he’s immune or something, or maybe he’s just trying to avoid the awkward conversation we obviously need to have. I don’t know. It’s driving me crazy.”

  “You need to tell him,” Jem said.

  “You’re missing out on so much. It’s obvious you love him,” Phoenix agreed.

  My shoulders slumped. “That’s the thing. I do love him. I’ve loved him since the day I laid eyes on him, and he looked so goddamn broken and alone, like he had no one. I wanted to be that person for him.”

  Phoenix’s gold eyes softened. “You are that person, Donovan. So tell him.”

  “I can’t.”

  Jem snorted. “Well if you won’t tell him, maybe we should try and get him to confess his feelings for you first? Hmm? I might have a plan that will guarantee you a date to Gracie’s party. What do you think?”

  Phoenix and I exchanged a glance. “What do you have in mind?”

  I was drinking my morning cup of coffee before work when the screen door banged open. Shay came trotting in, piles of fabric folded over his shoulder. He paused in the entryway, glancing between me and the coffeepot before smiling. “Hey, mind making me a cup?”

  I blinked. “Sure.”

  “I’m gonna toss this stuff in my room real quick. Be right back!”

  Well apparently, his mood had lifted. That was a good thing.

  I fixed him a cup with an extra splash of hazelnut creamer. I knew exactly how he liked it. When he returned, I offered it to him. His fingers curled around the homemade cow-spotted mug—something he’d painted on one of our not-dates—as he took a big whiff of the steam. His lashes fluttered. “Mmm. Smells so good.”

  “How was Xan?”

  He brightened. “He’s great and we got a lot done last night. I only got, like, two hours of sleep so I’m probably gonna guzzle this coffee and pass the fuck out while you’re at work, but maybe we could do something fun tonight? Maybe go out for dinner?”

  When he smiled at me, my insides turned to mush. I wanted, so badly, to kiss him. To cup his face in my hands and press my lips to his. To run my tongue along the seam of his mouth, begging for more. To delve inside and explore every last crevice. To savor the sweet taste of Seamus Callahan.

  I needed to know. I needed to know if there was hope for us, or if I was just pissing into the dark.

  “Sure. Shay, I—”

  Of course, Shay chose that moment to lean against me and rest his head on my shoulder. His exhale was soft and almost melodic. “You’re my best friend, you know that, right? I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  My stomach sank. Was that a hint? Had I been friend-zoned without even realizing it? And if so, could I handle the idea of Shay marrying some smarmy Alpha—maybe even someone I knew, like that redhead at the bar? Could I handle the fact that one day, he’d ditch me for the next best thing?

  Who was I kidding? I couldn’t compete with love. It wouldn’t matter if we vowed to stay friends, seeing him with another man would kill me.

  I needed to know, one way or the other.

  I grabbed my phone and tapped out a text to Jem: It’s on.

  5

  Shay

  “Where are they?” My pulse drummed in my ears as I rummaged wildly through my desk, yanking open drawers and dumping their contents out onto the floor. I combed through the beads and baubles with clawed fingers, but the little packet of blood capsules was missing in action. “I know they were right here, D. I swear it, they were right fucking there and now they’re gone and I—I can’t be a blood witch without blood!” I wailed dramatically. “Tonight is ruined!”

  Donovan knelt down beside me, his hand on my arm. His presence was a gentle warmth at my side. “Shay. Hey. Look, it’s fine. We still have time. If we head out now, we can stop and buy more. The party’s not for another two hours. You know Gracie, she likes setting everything up early.”

  “But Xan will be here any time.” Tears welled up in my eyes. I tried to blink them away and stay calm, but nothing about today had gone right. Tonight was supposed to be perfect. It was Halloween, a night of magic and mayhem and maybe, just maybe, I’d finally work up the nerve to show Donovan how I really felt. Xan made me promise to try, and I wasn’t the kind of guy to break a promise.

  Even if this one might ruin my life.

  “We’ll leave the door unlocked for him,” Donovan said. “Text him and tell him, okay?” He squeezed my shoulder with his big hand, and I was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to come clean about everything. I hiccuped a sob, rubbing furiously at my face. My best friend looked at me with worry glinting in his cocoa eyes. “Shay? It’s okay, everything’s gonna be fine. Trust me?”

  I bit my lip, slowly nodding. “I trust you. Will you come with me?”

  “Of course,” he assured me. “Let’s go. I’ll drive.”

  “I don’t understand,” I murmured on the drive into town. “I’m never that forgetful. I know we bought blood capsules when we w
ent to that party store. I vividly remember putting them in the top drawer, because I always put important stuff in that drawer.” I wasn’t crazy—or hell, maybe I was. Maybe all this stress and pining after Donovan was really doing a number on my sanity. I let my head drop against the window with a thunk. “I don’t know anymore.”

  “I think…maybe we’ve both had a lot on our minds lately.” He spoke the words slowly. Tentatively. When I glanced over at him, his smile seemed tired. His fingers flexed over the steering wheel. I didn’t look away. I couldn’t.

  What was it about Donovan Maverick that made me feel so lovesick? He was so perfect. For one, he was handsome without being too handsome. Did that make any sense? Like, he was handsome, just not in the traditional sort of way. He was big and soft, and his belly hung a little over his belt, and I knew he was self-conscious about his weight because he always made comments about joining Jem at the gym, even though we both knew he wouldn’t go for longer than a couple of days. He just wasn’t the gym-rat sort.

  He was the couch potato sort. He was the cuddly and kind-hearted Alpha who’d stepped into my life the day I needed a friend the most, and he’d been a constant ever since. He was always there to offer a hug or a smile. He was always there to listen to my worries and my fears, to celebrate my joys and successes. He was literally the other half of my heart.

  He was it for me.

  So why did the words I desperately needed to say get caught somewhere between my heart and my mouth? Why was this so fucking hard?

  I kept my silence until we pulled into the crowded lot of the party store. Donovan sent a smile my way and kicked open the driver’s side door. “C’mon, Shay. Let’s go get your blood.” He laughed. “Wow, that sounded kind of creepy. I vant to suck your vlood! Mvahaha!”